August 13, 2009

Quiet

Looking for a nice beat for the remainder of the summer and to lead into the fall? I've got two words: Friendly Fires. Their new single "Kiss of Life" is just what you need to remedy your back to school blues. It makes me want to dance, sing and go out and find some hot idie kid to give the "Kiss of Life" to. It gives out this retro pop vibe while also pinpointing a modern sound. It's like an all you can eat buffet, except it's all you can listen to in just one song. Yes, my friends, it is that good.
Their most recent EP, "Skeleton Boy", released in March of this year, is also very brag worthy. If I ever won an Oscar, Grammy, or an Emmy or attended an event where I got out of a nice car and had to walk down a nice red carpet with lights flashing in every direction, I'd pick the song "Skeleton Boy" to walk to. It's got that glam-rock type thing going on- it's a very party-esque song. The song "Paris" just makes me want to bump my hips and throw my hands up in the air while wearing my favorite shiny leggings with a cool rocker shirt.
The Friendly Fires are one of those bands that not only inspire peaceful and happy thoughts, but they inspire fashion and charisma as well. The kind of band that just produces tons of feel-good songs. Drop the Black Eyed Peas' "I Gotta Feeling", yeah it makes you feel good, and want to party and blah blah blah- but soon it will be over-played and old. This hip and discreet band will give you all the satisfaction that you get from that Top 40, without hearing it on the radio until your ears bleed.
Friendly Fires.
Your survival guide to the end of summer.

June 28, 2009

Honestly

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK SHITT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHTI SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS MOTHERFUCKER MOTHERFUCKER MOTHERFUCKER MOTHERFUCKER MOTHERFUCKER.
5%tCFRKQWLBDP3UIFHBDUECD31IUBCFI3CRBI3J4BCI4BTRVFI4GBTGIBNIBGB49PG3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That, my friends is how I feel right now.
I've just been taken over by sudden insomnia and decided to write every single thing that is bothering me, down so that I could feel better.

And guess what happens?

THE FUCKING LINK WAS FUCKING "BROKEN" SO I FUCKING HAD TO FUCKING GO BACK AND THE WHOLE FUCKING THING GOT FUCKING DELETED. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

I wish I had a stronger word, but I don't at the moment.

I guess, I'm just going to cut to the chase;
I need help, I want it. Please, just someone, anyone, offer it, please.
I just need a shoulder to cry on and some listening ears.
That's it.
I promise.
And I give you my word, that if you are ever in need of the same I'll be here without question.

Damn this world.

June 19, 2009

Reckoner

List of things to do before I die:

1. Visit Venice, Italy. While I'm there, fall in love with the lights first, a native second, and the city third.

2. Write a letter to someone whom I really care about. Pour my whole heart and soul into it. Stamp it. And send it. Then 30 years later, while helping that same person do some spring cleaning, find it and smile- happy to know they've kept it all these years.

3. Have a summer fling.

4. Adopt at least one needy child from a third world country.

5. Live in Kentucky for a year.

6. Live in Washington for a year.

7. Live in Washington D.C. for a year.

8. Change a tire.

9. Buy something from a really cheesy infomercial.

10. Learn to keep a journal.

11. Come up with good things to write in the journal.

12. Sit on my porch, drinking some fresh lemonade, looking back at my young life and be able to think "those were the days".

13. Send a secret to Post Secret.

14. Save a life.

15. Get all dressed up for no apparent reason whatsoever.

16. Go to a Metal concert.

17. Sing drunk Karaoke at a bar.



Don't worry...
it'll grow.

January 10, 2009

S.O.S.

I have a deadbeat as my father. I see him, the most 3 times a year. I act like I really hate him and that he makes me angry and I just talk to him for his money, but in reality I miss him. I really wish he was actually around to see me grow up. I wish he knew all my friends' names, all the music on Ipod, my teachers' names, what classes I'm taking, and what I'm currently reading. I think it's fine that he and my mom aren't together, but I just wish he stuck around and acted like he cared. Instead, all I get is a check- whenever I ask for it. It's the only kind of relationship we have ever had. I've tried to chnge it many times, but it's like he doesn't care. At all. I'm always the one making the call to say hi, I'm always the one asking him questions about his life that I'm barely in, and I think it's unfair. My dad has hurt me so much, but I can't seem to let go. And my mom doesn't want to marry someone until I'm out of high school, which isn't fair to me either. So it pretty much means that I will never have a father to look up to. I'll never have a father-daughter dance with a meaningful song.

My father got engaged last year, without me knowing. I didn't even know he was dating. I didn't even get to meet her until 3 months before their wedding. He had told everyone he was getting married, and had everyone meet her, except for me. I found out when I had called him to see how he was doing (because he was sick) and a woman picked up the phone. When I hung up with my dad, I told my mom that a woman had picked up his phone. Then my mom told me that she was going to be my new step-mom. Then it took my dad a month after my mom told me, to tell me himself.

It's just not fair.

This is my vent, and I hope that I will never have to explain this portion of my life to anyone ever again.

January 9, 2009

When Does It End?

15 years old, and I am already praying for early retirment. I've already started saving up. Sophmore year in high school is such a bitch. Sometimes, I honestly feel like giving up, but I know I can't. My dreams are way to ambitious for me to just throw away. My grades are all really low, and it seems like I can't do anything about it. Hopefully things get  better soon.

The Honest Truth

I've been lying. It's not that I don't believe in love, it's that I am afraid to admit that I am actually scared shitless of love. That's why I say I don't believe in love. I do believe, but it's hard for me to really believe that it can happen to me. I know I'm young and that I have a lot of time, but when i look in the mirror, I don't see my self as a person who can be loved by someone else, romantically. Instead I see myself living a career-successdul life, where all I had to live for was my job. I want a family, I want a husband. But to me the word "love" seems so serious. When I think of my husband, I think of a best friend- type of person. Someone  can laugh with, make inside jokes with, play pranks on... except we'd be sleeping in the same bed and adopting multi-racial babies together. 

This freaks me out.

August 5, 2008

Future Plans[She Gets Deep]

Many have already heard this many, many times before... but for those of you who do not know, in this blog I am going to write about my future and what I dream of it being. I am a futuristic person. The future is all I think about, and it breathes down my neck as I sleep, eat, talk, write, and dance. It's all right here in my mind.

First of all I want to explain that I have decided my dream career when I was only 9 years old. I've always loved to read and write... and talk! In fourth grade my writing skills really shined and I was constantly praised by my teacher. When I decided that I actually liked my own writing, I wanted to be an author. Then one particular morning, I was eating my cereal and watching the Today Show on NBC with Katie Couric, Matt Lauer and Al Roker (this was something I did every morning.. I know.. strange for a fourth grader), I decided that maybe I would want to be an Anchorwoman or Talkshow host. I did some research on being an Achorwoman or Talkshow host and decided I liked the idea. I still have this dream, although it has now progressed into Anchoring the morning news for NBC in Burbank, California, then heading to my talkshow in Yerdua studios in the early afternoon, then at night continue working on my bestellers.

Now that we covered that portion of my future... let's talk dream husband. For a teenager, romance is so not my thing and the words 'i love you' are put together to make a dangerous phrase that slips out of most peoples mouths without meaning. My mom had me at an early age and I knew if she didn't have to take care of me she could have been much, much more. Which is why I have made a decision to stay pure until marraige. I am proud of my decision and do not care what anyone says. As far as the whole marriage thing goes... noone in my family has had a successful marraige. Everyone has divorced or seperated, except for my Aunt. This situation only make my future love life more difficult since I have no idea what a real marraige looks like. Right now, at this moment I really don't want to be married until 'm about 30 something. However, I guess the kind of person I'd like to spend the rest of my life with is someone serious, but not to serious.. someone who can take a joke. Someone with a sarcastic sense of humor, and honest mind (and I do mean it. I want him to tell me I look fat in certain pair of jeans If I ask him and I do). Someone who I can actually let go and say that dangerous phrase 'i love you', because I don't just throw it out there. Someone who I know I'd be happy to wake up to in the early morning, and perferably someone who hates cheese. I'm allergic. It'd be cool if they played intruments because I am a sucker for musicians... sadly. If all this falls under the category of Nicholas Jerry Jonas from the number one pop band around the world, The Jonas Brothers, so be it. :)

On the subject of kids, I love them. Just not all the time. I think I just like naming people and things. For example in Yosemite, I named every squirrel I came across. I am not a normal person. I do not want boring ordinary names like; Jennifer, Justin, Billy, Amanda, Robert. I want to name kids: Tristan, Mahogany, Plaid, Herb, Sage, and Tree. I'm a big fan of little boys because I do not like teenage girls. Ironic, I know. I also love Asian babies, and although I am not Asian I am determined to have them. I will adopt. I'm in love with the show Jon & Kate + 8. I love those munchkins.

These are my plans. And some of them might be out of this world fantasies, I am determined to follow my dreams to their extent. If you doubt me, it only makes me stronger and more determined. So be careful with the words you use. You might swallow them.