The Honest Truth

I've been lying. It's not that I don't believe in love, it's that I am afraid to admit that I am actually scared shitless of love. That's why I say I don't believe in love. I do believe, but it's hard for me to really believe that it can happen to me. I know I'm young and that I have a lot of time, but when i look in the mirror, I don't see my self as a person who can be loved by someone else, romantically. Instead I see myself living a career-successdul life, where all I had to live for was my job. I want a family, I want a husband. But to me the word "love" seems so serious. When I think of my husband, I think of a best friend- type of person. Someone  can laugh with, make inside jokes with, play pranks on... except we'd be sleeping in the same bed and adopting multi-racial babies together. 

This freaks me out.